Girls Love American Men in the Philippines

Girls Love American Men in the Philippines

Filipinos love to party, and so does Buford Perry! This is a profane and hilarious travel tale from an aging roughneck who abandons the frozen oil fields of North Dakota to dive head-first into the tropical culture of the Philippine Islands. Meeting his teenage fiancee for the first time at Cebu Airport, the author plunges himself into a non-stop bacchanalia laced with sweet sex and Red Horse beer. With a fat paycheck in his pocket and a dozen prospective in-laws willing to participate in whatever mad folly our hero will pay for, the revelry never stops. From helping his Filipino "family" crash the pool at an exclusive resort hotel that caters to westerners, to immersing himself in the youthful night-time crowd at the Sinulog festival--where he's the only white face in sight, Buford takes the reader on a tour of the Philippines as few Americans will ever see them.

Along with beautiful young women and uproarious behavior, the author gives his readers some keen observations and crude philosophy. The best quotes are too obscene to include here, but this is one of the cleaner samples, fresh from Buford's pen: "...by historical standards, my desire to wine and dine a teenage Filipina is despicableâ€”but not because of the age of the girl. Itâ€™s despicable for not being manly enough to pass muster. What warlord ever addressed his men before the gates of a city and said, 'Okay guys, letâ€™s batter down the walls and go in there and throw some money around and see if maybe some of the girls will take their panties off for us!'"

For the most part this story is a rollicking adventure. Yet on the flight over, Buford speaks of his fear that he might not like the girl when he meets her: "If I have to dump her, it will break my heart. In all my time on earth, I have always been the sexual underdog. I have always been the beggar, trying to convince a woman to accept my woo. My heart has taken 10,000 punches, yet I canâ€™t seem to deliver one." After he's been in Cebu City for a few days, he begins to feel maybe he's taking advantage of the local people. In a conversation with a British expatriate who lives there, Buford is told: â€œYou Americans always want to do the right thing. You make yourselves miserable here. Just relax and enjoy yourself, and youâ€™ll do fine.â€ When Buford continues to sip beer and struggle with his conscience, the expat mocks him with the opposite advice:â€œThen give everyone everything they want. Give them everything they ask for until you donâ€™t have any money anymore. Then you can go home feeling like a saint.â€

Beyond the wisdom and philosophy, Buford offers the reader some twisted lessons in Filipino history. Telling the story of Magellan's death in the Philippines in 1521, he says: "...they loaded up 50 Spaniards and a couple of hundred Cebu warriors and went over to Mactan to find King Lapu-Lapu. It wasnâ€™t hard to locate the guy. He was standing around near the end of the runway of Mactan-Cebu International Airport with 1500 angry men in war-paint backing him up. Also he was 20 feet tall and cut like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his body-building prime, according to his statue."

For those who don't mind the profanity, this book is a fast-flowing amusement that leaves the reader wanting more. It's an excellent first effort by a new author, well worthy of the reader's time and attention.
Country USA
Manufacturer BufordPerryDOTcom
Binding Kindle Edition
ReleaseDate 2015-07-13
Format Kindle eBook

Country	USA
Manufacturer	BufordPerryDOTcom
Binding	Kindle Edition
ReleaseDate	2015-07-13
Format	Kindle eBook

Girls Love American Men in the Philippines

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