Helping Your Husband with ADHD: Supportive Solutions for Adult ADD/ADHD

Is this the guy you married? Is this the relationship you want? What the heck happened to your husband? Was he always this way? Or is it all in your head? More importantly, is there anything you can do to fix your relationship, or do you have to suffer with his bad habits for the rest of your marriage?

It’s difficult enough managing your career, the house and the kids. Who has time to micromanage their husband’s life?

If you are the wife of a man with ADD/ADHD this may have struck a painful chord, and for good reason. Beyond the daily difficulties of being on the receiving end of ADD/ADHD, your plight is often ignored by therapists and other professionals. Yes, many books and articles have been written describing the challenges of people with ADD/ADHD, but few focus on those who suffer the most from this condition – namely, their partners.

This book is an attempt to do just that; to offer solid education and practical tips to help you deal with the daily frustrations of a relationship with someone who has ADD/ADHD.

This book is a helpful guide for women who think their husbands might have ADD/ADHD. Or for women who’s husbands have already been diagnosed. You will learn ways to support your husband's growth without enabling him or exhausting yourself.

Book Review

"Instead of divorcing their feckless, shiftless, inconsiderate, childish, chaotic husbands, readers can get them help for their underlying disorder, according to this helpful primer on adult ADHD.

Psychologist Sachs specializes in therapy for people with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. In this book, he aims to specifically inform and advise the wives of men who have it, although they write that they “hope this book is equally helpful to all individuals (single, straight, gay) living with a significant other who has ADD/ADHD.” They present the syndrome as a physical ailment, citing neurochemical imbalances that lead to such symptoms as impulsive actions, distractibility, the inability to complete tasks, and a volatile temperament.

The result is a husband who can’t do chores, care for kids, pay bills, find keys, hold a conversation, have sex, or, often, hold down a job. The anguished comments of frazzled wives included here attest to the relationship challenges that such men face: “All he wants to do is play video games and talk about electronics,” complains one woman. Fortunately, Sachs and Norman contend that wives, with therapists’ help, can do a lot to minimize these problems.

The tips they offer are indeed practical ones, and they cover such topics as diet, communication, and “sleep hygiene” (using hot showers and shoulder massages to wind him down for the night). They also focus on behavior modification, urging readers to break down projects into short to-do lists, dole out rewards for each step completed, and post signs about where to leave keys, wallets, and coats. The authors’ lucid, down-to-earth account will help many put-upon wives to understand and cope with their husbands’ problems. A reassuring guide to a disruptive and baffling marital predicament." --Kirkus ReviewsMarriage, relationships, ADD, ADHD, Attention Deficit Disorder, husband, Melissa Orlov, Adult ADD, relationship, divorce, hyperactivity, married to distraction, Hallowell, Barkely, Adult ADHD.