LoveSmart: Transforming the Emotional Patterns that Sabotage Relationships
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LoveSmart: Transforming the Emotional Patterns that Sabotage Relationships
LoveSmart is a guidebook of insight about the sources of relationship disharmony. This book escorts the love-game through the field of depth psychology, producing a powerful game plan for relationship success. The full story of relationship conflict and disharmony goes much deeper than people realize. How we feel about our partner is a reflection of our own relationship with our self. This book shows us how to deepen and harmonize our connection to self, thereby enhancing our relationship with our partner. Specific topics include: why we choose our partner; the meaning of the begging-bowl syndrome; the origins of control issues and what we can do about them; the clear difference between genuine love and addictive attachments; how sexual issues reflect our emotional conflicts; the tendency to compulsively repeat self-sabotaging patterns of behavior; the illusion of reforming our partner; and how to accept each other as equals. LoveSmart presents theory, examples, and exercises that show exactly how we transfer and project our own unresolved emotional issues on to our partner. It also reveals how we can unconsciously be identifying with our partner through the mutual agony of self-defeating processes, outcomes, and expectations. We learn how we can be aligned with being an innocent victim or bystander, which then, to our detriment, prompts us to make our partner, loved ones, and friends largely responsible for our feelings and behaviors. This book shows us how our emotional perceptions and interpretations can be highly subjective and misleading, and it reveals where these interpretations come from in our past. It has been comforting to believe that other people are responsible for how we feel and behave, but that belief has created a nation of victims amid the carnage of broken relationships. LoveSmart provides the most comprehensive understanding available of relationship dynamics. It is intended primarily to solve problems in romantic relationships but its principles also apply to friendships as well as to work-related issues and family relationships. Achieving peace with others involves a breakthrough in understanding why our relationships are not working and why we feel defeated, neglected, and dissatisfied. We are more likely to achieve this breakthrough with the help of the best insight from depth psychology.