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The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard...

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The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard...

The thank-you note real moms in the Fourth Trimester would like to send:

Dear ________ :
Thanks for sending us ________ . Iâ€™m sure __________ will love it as soon as _______ can do anything besides eat, sleep, cry, and run up the stock price on Pampers. Having recently entered the Fourth Trimester, right now my goals in life are to sleep more than three hours and shower before 7:00 p.m. So please excuse this impersonal note.
Iâ€™d love for you to come over and see _________ . But no helpful hints, no critiquing of the fact that I
(1) breast-feed without a cover-up;
(2) do not breast-feed and use formula;
(3) allow my child to use a pacifier;
(4) use a Swyngo-matic to hypnotize my child into a state eerily similar to an Ecstasy trip.
Do not tell me that __________ looks cute. I know that __________ looks like a cross between E.T. and Yoda. And no comments about my figure. I am not Cindy Crawford and, yes, those are maternity clothes Iâ€™m still wearing.
Bring rain gear and youâ€™ll be well prepared for the nonstop torrent of liquid escaping from __________ and me. Canâ€™t wait to see you -- of course, these days Iâ€™m even looking forward to having my mom and mother-in-law visit. Iâ€™ll take whatever adult company I can get.

Love and kisses from me and the pumpkin!

Country	USA
Author	Amy Einhorn
Binding	Hardcover
Brand	Brand: Crown
EAN	9780812991062
Edition	First Edition first Printing
Feature	Used Book in Good Condition
ISBN	0812991060
Label	Crown
Manufacturer	Crown
MPN	9780812991062
NumberOfItems	1
NumberOfPages	96
PartNumber	9780812991062
PublicationDate	2001-04-17
Publisher	Crown
ReleaseDate	2001-04-17
SKU	6478549
Studio	Crown

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