Pop some pink bubblegum and turn up the boom box: It's time to visit the 1980's. Crazy cartoons, wacky food, crackhead-like candy and the most important decision of a pre-teen's life: new wave or heavy metal? Jelly shoes or checkerboard Vans? Growing up in California's San Fernando Valley in the 80's was chock full of sunshine and skateboards, but author Amy Asbury takes us through the lesser known issues such as creepy pervs in cars and overly sultry sixth graders. Amongst these lively essays are the questions of 80's pop culture: Why did Simon LeBon's sexy stare work straight through the TV? Why did Cabbage Patch Kids start to run out of good names like Jennifer and start coming out with names like Bertha and Edna? Why did we love camel-toe inducing designer jeans? Why did the bass of "Billie Jean" make us stop in our tracks like a dog hearing a silent whistle? Why did a boy's entire social life depend solely on his kickball skills? Read about fights with neighborhood kids, taking down bullies and trying to fit in with the cool chicks. Slumber party games, crushes, scary teachers, rivals, finding one's talent (double joints, rolling tongue or wonky eye tricks), looking at boobs in the Sears catalog and forays into capitalism by way of lopsided homemade carnivals and melty sno-cone stands. Jump into the salty waves at Zuma beach, eat your 30-scooped zoo sundae at Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor, and get yourself down to the Northridge mall: It's time to dive into the world of the Valley Girl.